RubySoho
Winston
Charles Manson Seeks Appeal: Claims He Has Been ‘Quoted Out Of Context’
June 25th 2008 01:11
was he really just misunderstood?
CALIFORNIA: In a shock press release today, notorious leader of The Family cult and convicted murderer, Charles Manson has told of his desire to appeal his life sentence for the 1969 murder of seven people, including pregnant American actress Sharon Tate.
Manson, granting a rare press interview, stated that his conviction is a of travesty justice, citing that the evidence presented by the prosecution that linked him to the murders, namely his orders to the killers and Family cult members to drive to the Tate house and "totally destroy everyone in [it], as gruesome as you can.", were quoted out of context and thus twisted and turned to mean something entirely different by people with an agenda. “The prosecutors had an axe to grind with me” he moaned. “And so they took my words, which are clearly meant to convey something good, and tried to turn them into something bad.”
When a sceptical journalist questioned Manson, on his famous statement “Now is the time for Helter Skelter”, which the court found was designed to spark an apocalyptic race-war in the States, Manson sighed and rolled his eyes. “Obviously”, Manson declared, “anyone with a half brain would know that when I said that, I was simply instructing my loyal followers to turn on the record player and spin a little Beatles”.
“I am a peaceful man, dude”, the notorious one continued” I wish no-one any harm. My message is one of love and peace. If people actually listened to what I had to say, then we would all be saved, we would be living in heaven on earth. I have come to save mankind and all they can do is turn my own peaceful words against me. I have been misquoted and quoted out of context. Don’t you get that? Don’t you know that the problem is not in what I have said, but in how others have interpreted it? Seriously, how can you guys not get how good and divine my message is?”
'That’s just semantics'
When another journalist pointed out that Manson’s loyal followers gruesomely murdered seven people, including a heavily pregnant woman, Manson’s eyes flashed with anger. “That’s just semantics” He scoffed. “Sure, you could say they killed, them. You could say they murdered them. But you know, words can have different meanings. For instance, in science, a heavy metal is a member of an ill-defined subset of elements that exhibit metallic properties, whereas in music....I’m also a musician did you know that? Anyway, in music, heavy metal is a genre defined by wanky guitar solos and bogan fans. So yeah….where was I? Oh right, yeah, some people say my followers murdered people, but I prefer to think that they were liberated from the physical constraints of their own bodies and allowed to fly, free, free as a bird….so you see it’s all in the interpretation, It’s all how you look at it”.
"Let me give you another example." Manson continued, "In the Bible it says, 'The birth of a daughter is a loss'. But only an idiot would think that that statement is misogynistic. Clearly, what this statement means is that women and men are equal. Obviously it does. In this context, the context of the Bible, what else could the word “loss” possibly mean? Whoever says anything otherwise is just a hateful bigot who has a secret agenda. Take it from me, when it comes to having an agenda. I’m an expert…but don’t quote me on that please”.
You heard it first here everyone.
-Ruby
Disclaimer: Satire is just satire and any resemblance to notorious mass murderers is clearly coincidental.
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Comment by Jeff Musall
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fantastic satire Ruby!
i really liked the "heavy metal" definitions, it was almost as thoughit was completely irrelevant hahaha
Comment by RubySoho
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Louie, as crazy as Charles is, he is still obviously aware of the fact that it is not what he believes that counts, but what he can convince others to believe.
Morgan, the only thing I can think that would be more irrelevant than defining heavy metal in relation to murder is discussing cannibalism in relation to abortion. But no-one could possibly be that irrelevant could they?
Comment by Morgan Bell
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Ruby, are you suggesting we eat our neighbours? is the United Nations suggesting we eat our neighbours? how very dare the both of you! ive always found the United Nations to be highly unreliable and constantly advocating eating people . . .
now correct me if im wrong but isnt rejecting all authorities infact the very definition of anarchy?
if we were to refuse to ever appeal to an authority, never accept a definition from an authorising body, never be convinced of the correctness of any government decision would we not be endorsing the very anarchism we so often rail against?
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Ruby S. - Fox correspondent! How Colbertesque of you...
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Why did you waste space with this?
Comment by RubySoho
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Smooth Political, the crazier the 'prophet', the more people seems to believe him.
Bill Green, religion, politics, crazy cult leaders. it's all the same to me.
Jeff, does been in my no-spin zone give you vertigo?
Raven, Just spreading the word about how dangerous it is to quote things out of context. Wouldn't want anyone else to make that mistake.
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Comment by RubySoho
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If women such as Emmeline Pankhurst had not been angry, would women have been extended the right to vote?
If activists such as Charles Perkins had not gotten angry, would a formal apology ever been given?
If Richard Dawkins was not angry would the human race have ever been freed from the oppression of religion?....well we're still working on that one.
Not that I'm putting myself in the company of such people, just trying to distinguish from blind, irrational, pointless anger and the kind of anger that changes the world.
That said, i hope that people don't take all of my posts too seriously...Anonymous?
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(CLICKHERE for more . . . )
Comment by Mrs M
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Morgan rated this post so I thought I'd come and check it out.
Love & stuff
Mrs M