RubySoho
Winston
Dirty Sexy Nazi
April 7th 2008 01:24
(by RubySoho)
Great title, huh? Hey it’s not often you get mention sex and Nazis in the same breathe, so when the opportunity presents itself, I suggest you run with it. And with that, I present to you my nomination for the award for The Most Perfect Sentence Ever Constructed In The English Language.
This little beauty from British tabloid The News of The World:
FIA president Mr Mosley, 67, had taken part in a sadomasochistic orgy with five prostitutes that involved Nazi role-playing.
Now until my friend Jarrod brought this story to my attention yesterday, I had no idea who Mosley was. Apparently, he has something to do with Formula One racing and I presume that’s what the FIA stands for. This controversy has been raging for over a week and having zero interest in motor sport and the sex lives of old men, I completely missed it. And I can’t really say I care to learn more details.
But no matter how many times I read that sentence it does not fail to impress. Here it is again, let us all partake in its sleazy goodness once again shall we:
FIA president Mr Mosley, 67, had taken part in a sadomasochistic orgy with five prostitutes that involved Nazi role-playing.
How can I begin to convey to you why I love this sentence so much? Because it has everything. A tabloid writer’s wet dream it is. Dirty Old Man (who also happens to be very successful so we can all gleefully watch him fall spectacularly from grace)? Check! Dirty group sex? Check! Sado and Masochism? Check! Hookers? Check! And the top it all off, the slam-dunk, the touchdown, the home run, the hole in one, the checkered flag, the piece de resistance:
Nazi reference? Check!!!
Haha, take that Prince Harry, leaves your little Nazi fancy dress party stunt for dead doesn’t it?
And so economical. Not a noun, adjective nor verb is wasted. Each builds on the one that came before it, until in only 20 words, the whole, gory saga is unravelled before the amused/horrified/indifferent eyes of the reader. Verily, I say unto you, has ever a sentence existed that was at once so beautiful and so vulgar?
Now, I don’t actually know if that is the sentence exactly as it appeared in the News Of The World, since I sadly do not have subscription to that particular purveyor of intellectual stimulation but I have seen it reprinted thus everywhere from Mx to ABC news, to itv.com. And with every reprint it never gets any less perfect.
I do admit to being a little concerned as to where the writer can possibly go from here though. The heights have truly been been scaled, there is no place now but down, for a sentence that magnificent can, alas, only come to a writer once in their career. But not to worry, for as my friend’s brother said, “Whoever wrote that sentence should go straight to heaven”.
Amen to that.
Oh, and yeah, just before I go:
FIA president Mr Mosley, 67, had taken part in a sadomasochistic orgy with five prostitutes that involved Nazi role-playing.
Ah, like a fine wine I tell you, like a fine wine.
References: abc.net.au
itv-f1.com
Really Long Link
Really Long Link
Great title, huh? Hey it’s not often you get mention sex and Nazis in the same breathe, so when the opportunity presents itself, I suggest you run with it. And with that, I present to you my nomination for the award for The Most Perfect Sentence Ever Constructed In The English Language.
This little beauty from British tabloid The News of The World:
FIA president Mr Mosley, 67, had taken part in a sadomasochistic orgy with five prostitutes that involved Nazi role-playing.
Now until my friend Jarrod brought this story to my attention yesterday, I had no idea who Mosley was. Apparently, he has something to do with Formula One racing and I presume that’s what the FIA stands for. This controversy has been raging for over a week and having zero interest in motor sport and the sex lives of old men, I completely missed it. And I can’t really say I care to learn more details.
But no matter how many times I read that sentence it does not fail to impress. Here it is again, let us all partake in its sleazy goodness once again shall we:
FIA president Mr Mosley, 67, had taken part in a sadomasochistic orgy with five prostitutes that involved Nazi role-playing.
How can I begin to convey to you why I love this sentence so much? Because it has everything. A tabloid writer’s wet dream it is. Dirty Old Man (who also happens to be very successful so we can all gleefully watch him fall spectacularly from grace)? Check! Dirty group sex? Check! Sado and Masochism? Check! Hookers? Check! And the top it all off, the slam-dunk, the touchdown, the home run, the hole in one, the checkered flag, the piece de resistance:
Nazi reference? Check!!!
Haha, take that Prince Harry, leaves your little Nazi fancy dress party stunt for dead doesn’t it?
And so economical. Not a noun, adjective nor verb is wasted. Each builds on the one that came before it, until in only 20 words, the whole, gory saga is unravelled before the amused/horrified/indifferent eyes of the reader. Verily, I say unto you, has ever a sentence existed that was at once so beautiful and so vulgar?
Now, I don’t actually know if that is the sentence exactly as it appeared in the News Of The World, since I sadly do not have subscription to that particular purveyor of intellectual stimulation but I have seen it reprinted thus everywhere from Mx to ABC news, to itv.com. And with every reprint it never gets any less perfect.
I do admit to being a little concerned as to where the writer can possibly go from here though. The heights have truly been been scaled, there is no place now but down, for a sentence that magnificent can, alas, only come to a writer once in their career. But not to worry, for as my friend’s brother said, “Whoever wrote that sentence should go straight to heaven”.
Amen to that.
Oh, and yeah, just before I go:
FIA president Mr Mosley, 67, had taken part in a sadomasochistic orgy with five prostitutes that involved Nazi role-playing.
Ah, like a fine wine I tell you, like a fine wine.
References: abc.net.au
itv-f1.com
Really Long Link
Really Long Link
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Comment by samaritan
Fringe Faith
Samaritan's Stories
A conspiracy theory has come to light regarding the sentence written about the sadomachistic sex orgy that involved Nazi role-playing. It has possibilities.
-Samaritan
www.fringefaith.com
Comment by Jarrah
Back to the Eighties
no
- Jarrah
Back to the Eighties
www.backtotheeighties.net
Comment by Cibbuano
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Comment by RubySoho
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Samaritan, I think the entire writing staff of News Of The World is a team of monkeys.
Yes, Jarrah, yes.
Cibb, perhaps he was or he could have been influenced by his father Oliver Mosley who was a pro-Nazi activist in the UK during the war. Oh it just gets better and better doesn't it?
I know Fassbinder made a film about sexy Nazis. Can you recall the title?
Louie, no doubt he is a hero to many (including me secretly), but I dare say the stuffy aristrocratic world of F1 may not look too kindly on his getting caught. Everyone knows it's okay to indulge all your dirty fantasies, just keep it under wraps ok? No-one wants to see the sex tape with your wrinkly old arse been whipped by a Nazi dominatrix.
Morgan and Jeff- One hooker to whip him, the other four to hold up his limp penis. Sorry, too far?
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
You've definitely been barking up the wrong tree up until now, Ruby. Politics? Religion? Mere trifles. Hookers and fascist role-playing are where it's at! You've inspired me. Stay tuned for my next post featuring communism, murder, and leather fetishes.
Comment by RubySoho
Music Zone
Thought Zone
Yes, desire, the ultimate SS weapon of choice.
Comment by Jeff Musall
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions