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Winston
If You Were the Virgin Mary, What Sort of Food Would You Be?
June 13th 2007 16:08
OK, this may seem like a strange question. But think about it. According to Biblical lore, appearances by God, angels, saints, etc. used to be pretty dramatic events, not really open to interpretation. They certainly weren't subtle. God went before the Israelites as a pillar of fire and smoke during the flight from Egypt. He appeared to Moses as a burning bush that was not harmed by the flames. The angel Gabriel appeared before the Virgin Mary pretty much as his glorious self, as did the angels who appeared to the shepherds to announce the birth of Christ. God stunned Paul senseless on the road to Damascus by flicking him off of his horse. Jesus seared an image of himself into the Shroud of Turin at his resurrection. If you believe these sorts of tall tales, then all this sounds very impressive.
More recently (read as: within the last seven or eight centuries) the Virgin Mary has popped up all over the place. The early accounts of her appearances are suitably grand. For example, Mary as Our Lady of Fatima appeared to three little children for awhile in 1917, telling them secrets for salvation. Then, supposedly, her visit to Fatima culminated during a rain storm where, in front of a large crowd, the clouds parted and the Sun descended from the skies in a whirling, multi-colored dance. Now that's an appearance! Mary has also reportedly appeared in the form of crying statues, apparitions, or by causing images of herself to appear on clothing, etc. (ie. The Lady of Guadalupe)
However, most of the more recent sightings of Mary are, shall we say......diminished? Perhaps the Virgin Mother has simply run out of ideas, but she has been manifesting herself in some fairly unimpressive ways. Some might even call these appearances remarkably ambiguous. Here's some examples:
-As a funny stain on a window
-As a salt stain at an underpass
-As a pretzel
-This guy thinks she's in a can of peanuts
-Possibly the most famous recent appearance, Mary as a grilled cheese sandwich.
Now, I understand that Mary is not a god, and therefore might not make appearances of the 'pillar of fire' variety. But, c'mon, she DID make the Sun change colors and move around. Now she's been reduced to toast? Talk about a demotion.
So, seeing as Mary seems to favor appearing as food lately, I got to thinking about what sort of food I would appear in if I had that ability. After some consideration, I think I would show up in a piece of tuna sushi. It's nutritious, attractive, and cross-cultural, all things that a benevolent pseudo-deity striving to get a message out should find compelling. So, there it is: if I were the Virgin Mary, I would appear in some sushi. Just a suggestion, Virgin Mother, don't feel compelled to use it.
Here's the question, to whomever is reading this: if you were the Virgin Mary, what sort of food (or stain, pattern, etc.) would you choose to be? The best answer wins dibs on their chosen manifest form!
More recently (read as: within the last seven or eight centuries) the Virgin Mary has popped up all over the place. The early accounts of her appearances are suitably grand. For example, Mary as Our Lady of Fatima appeared to three little children for awhile in 1917, telling them secrets for salvation. Then, supposedly, her visit to Fatima culminated during a rain storm where, in front of a large crowd, the clouds parted and the Sun descended from the skies in a whirling, multi-colored dance. Now that's an appearance! Mary has also reportedly appeared in the form of crying statues, apparitions, or by causing images of herself to appear on clothing, etc. (ie. The Lady of Guadalupe)
However, most of the more recent sightings of Mary are, shall we say......diminished? Perhaps the Virgin Mother has simply run out of ideas, but she has been manifesting herself in some fairly unimpressive ways. Some might even call these appearances remarkably ambiguous. Here's some examples:
-As a funny stain on a window
-As a salt stain at an underpass
-As a pretzel
-This guy thinks she's in a can of peanuts
-Possibly the most famous recent appearance, Mary as a grilled cheese sandwich.
Now, I understand that Mary is not a god, and therefore might not make appearances of the 'pillar of fire' variety. But, c'mon, she DID make the Sun change colors and move around. Now she's been reduced to toast? Talk about a demotion.
So, seeing as Mary seems to favor appearing as food lately, I got to thinking about what sort of food I would appear in if I had that ability. After some consideration, I think I would show up in a piece of tuna sushi. It's nutritious, attractive, and cross-cultural, all things that a benevolent pseudo-deity striving to get a message out should find compelling. So, there it is: if I were the Virgin Mary, I would appear in some sushi. Just a suggestion, Virgin Mother, don't feel compelled to use it.
Here's the question, to whomever is reading this: if you were the Virgin Mary, what sort of food (or stain, pattern, etc.) would you choose to be? The best answer wins dibs on their chosen manifest form!
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Or, more of a heathen, dare I say it, lemon meringue tart. Blasphemy!
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Comment by Kleonaptra
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And consider - (Im sure you already have)
If on the way to work, you see a flower perfectly lit by the light of the sun, what do you think? With a phone handy, plus an ipod to distract you, not to mind ad campaigns screaming by you, Im sure you dont notice. However, 'back in the day' with not even tv Im sure you would have told EVERYONE, by the time the rumour gets back to you - guess what, it was God!
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To be sure, you can compare stuff like this to a game of 'telephone', where a simple thing is changed and gains different significance as it passes down the line. But still....grilled cheese? The mind boggles at what people are willing to see....
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People will see what they want to see, in spite of what's really there.
Great post!
W
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- naan bread
- falafel
- a furikake pattern in sushi rice
- anything vegan
Comment by Winston
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Their would definitely be some humor is finding the VM in a bowl of pad thai, or some other decidedly non-western type of food. Edible underwear would be another type of food you wouldn't expect....
Comment by Onesnap
So I guess I'd not only be a food, but a food delivery system!
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Are you saying that not all of these present day sightings are entirely genuine? I am, may I say, shocked.
Comment by Kleonaptra
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Comment by Onesnap
Yes, I am. But every time I see you I think of that boat and how you guys were kind enough to share.
Not sure if you're going tonight to the Blue C, but if you're there I'll see you then. If not, then I'll see you next time. T & I still owe you guys a dinner out in your neck of the woods, so we'll shoot for sometime in July!