RubySoho
Winston
Reflections on Risk -- If Only it Weren't So Risky!
June 24th 2007 15:01
From birth, every second of existence is imbued with risk. True, the risk we face each moment can range from negligible to extreme, but it's almost always present in one form or another. It does not take us long to grow immune to fearing most of our daily risks, and to become jaded to instances when the dangers of certain risks become manifest. For example, driving involves risk. Each and every time you drive your car, even if it's only across the parking lot, there is risk involved. Any way you slice it, you are powering a 3000 lb. machine at high velocity in close proximity to other machines of the same type, and all of them loaded with a highly flammable/explosive fuel. We don't give a second thought to hopping in the car and going to the store, but when I write it out as above it seems a lot more risky, doesn't it? People are devastated daily by the effects of traffic accidents. Thousands of people are killed every year, but we would no more stop driving because someone we know had an accident than we would stop breathing because someone we know had lung cancer. Risk is part of life. We accept it.
Correction: we accept it sometimes. We accept the risk we feel we have to take, but some of us stop short of taking risks that are far less hazardous but have a greater possibility of failure. By this, I mean that relatively small risks, such as looking for a new career, putting yourself out there for criticism, letting go of one security blanket or another in order to take a chance at something new.....we shy away from these things. Fly across the country at 35,000 feet? Sure. Apply for that job you want, but doubt you'll get? No thanks, too risky. Rejection is a risk that is often avoidable. Of course, avoiding rejection, criticism, or disappointment may seem safe but it carries a risk of it's own; stagnation.
I say "we" a lot here, because I think that many people can relate to this. But, in truth, I mean "I". "I" would like to try so many things, but stop short for fear of failure. Rejection has never been a risk I've been willing to take. So I stay wrapped snugly in my security blanket, and who cares if the blanket has holes in it and doesn't smell so hot anymore? It's mine and it's comfortable and it's familiar. There's lots of stories out there about people who've gambled on discarding their blankets for something better, only to find that it isn't the case. But by then, their old blankets are gone as well.
That is where I find myself now. With what joy I would throw this blanket of mine away and pursue a new path....if only I knew that I would not stumble along the way. Risk rears it's head, and a voice whispers in my mind that I'm safe where I am. The voice is right, too. It is pretty safe here, which is why moving forward is so difficult. I'm not unhappy, just plagued by the feeling that I could do more. At my core, I feel that I could actually contribute something of value, if given a chance. Or, perhaps if I was willing to take one. But that's risky, and this blanket is so comfortable....
Correction: we accept it sometimes. We accept the risk we feel we have to take, but some of us stop short of taking risks that are far less hazardous but have a greater possibility of failure. By this, I mean that relatively small risks, such as looking for a new career, putting yourself out there for criticism, letting go of one security blanket or another in order to take a chance at something new.....we shy away from these things. Fly across the country at 35,000 feet? Sure. Apply for that job you want, but doubt you'll get? No thanks, too risky. Rejection is a risk that is often avoidable. Of course, avoiding rejection, criticism, or disappointment may seem safe but it carries a risk of it's own; stagnation.
I say "we" a lot here, because I think that many people can relate to this. But, in truth, I mean "I". "I" would like to try so many things, but stop short for fear of failure. Rejection has never been a risk I've been willing to take. So I stay wrapped snugly in my security blanket, and who cares if the blanket has holes in it and doesn't smell so hot anymore? It's mine and it's comfortable and it's familiar. There's lots of stories out there about people who've gambled on discarding their blankets for something better, only to find that it isn't the case. But by then, their old blankets are gone as well.
That is where I find myself now. With what joy I would throw this blanket of mine away and pursue a new path....if only I knew that I would not stumble along the way. Risk rears it's head, and a voice whispers in my mind that I'm safe where I am. The voice is right, too. It is pretty safe here, which is why moving forward is so difficult. I'm not unhappy, just plagued by the feeling that I could do more. At my core, I feel that I could actually contribute something of value, if given a chance. Or, perhaps if I was willing to take one. But that's risky, and this blanket is so comfortable....
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Comment by katyzzz
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My advice, if you're not driven, don't do it.
I have no idea what you are contemplating but I doubt whether it will cause the chaotic chain of events that has been my life for a long number of years now.
Yours may be a relatively free risk taking event in which case I would not be deterred, but it seems to me if you're contemplating having a family that may clip your wings for a while.
Funny how I've continued to survive those catastrophic events but not without consequences.
On all of this I'll say no more.
katyzzz
Comment by Wendi
Best case scenerio? Keep the old blanket until you're sure the new one provides warmth. It's the safest bet... hold on to what you do have while exploring the options of what may be waiting around the corner. Of course, that's not always possible, it's just what I consider the best case scenerio.
Sometimes, we just have to throw caution (and our blankies) to the wind and let the chips fall where they may.
*blanketless*
W
Comment by Onesnap
Another risk I took was getting a house before I was married. If we had waited we would not have been able to afford the house we have in the town we live in. 3 weeks after the move-in date we were married but the whole shopping for a house thing while unmarried was a bit interesting. But here I am 7 years later and it was a risk worth taking.
Yep, sometimes you can look before you leap and go over it again and again in your mind. Then one day you wake up, start a new job and a new life and you're not quite sure when it all happened exactly it just is.
There are so many things in life I never expected I'd be doing (like going to grad school--ack!) I guess you can't always predict the future.
My point is if I did not take chances I would not have the job I do, the house I do, be in school or even have the marriage I do. I guess "life is what happens when you're out making other plans."
Comment by Cibbuano
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caution? safety? Bah!
Comment by Lilla
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..and that for me is the BIGGEST RISK of all...
I'm with Cibby on this one,
Even little calculated ones are exciting, no?
Great Post!
Lilla ...
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
I've never been afraid to walk away from a job (even if I didn't have another one lined up). Kind of scary, but compared to the idea of spending 9 or 10 hours of my day at a job that I was miserable in......well the risk is worth it (also, I believed that I had marketable skills and would find what I wanted......and did).
My suggestion would be similar to Wendi's. Taking a risk doesn't have to mean going without a safety net. You can look into what it is you want to do, which still holding on to what it is you're doing.
Good luck
Kylie
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
Out of college, I was willing to take the risk. I moved to NYC after school with neither a job nor a prospect for one. It happened to work out. Now, though, with a wife and a mortgage, I have to be a bit more selective about how I play my hand (I know Cibb, risk CAN be sexy, but but sexy would fade fast if I suddenly wasn't making enough to pay my cable bill any more....)
Comment by Onesnap
Regarding what you said above...yes--proceed with the safety securly locked on the gun. And yes, as we age we have more to be worried about (mortgage, spouses, aging parents etc.) and those are all financial burdens. The good news is with each job change a bit more money is involved (even if only a few grand).
I think change gets harder as you age because there is more involved and more on the line.
When you were in your 20s you had nothing to lose (hence the NY move). Now your roots are here and there's more at risk. It's not a bad thing, we've all worked hard for what we have. However, you want to proceed cautiously.
But never shoot yourself down. My hubby thought he was not one of 100 selected for a new group at work. He thought his boss left him after 7 years and saving him from 8 layoffs. He went several days without talking to the boss and it turns out his boss had him in mind the WHOLE TIME. It was not the propper time to tell him. So for a few weeks he was so unhappy and worried and it turns out there was a plan for him.
I believe there's a master plan for all of us (self built, not by God or whatever). And sometimes you have to take what is behind Door Number 2 or swallow the red pill (or was it green in the Matrix). Either way, there's nothing you can't do Winston. I have not known you that long but that comes from the bottom of my heart.
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
Comment by Onesnap