RubySoho
Winston
The Sheer Horror Of Being A Brunette
October 9th 2008 04:27
From the This Makes Me Feel Ashamed To Be Human files. A woman has been laughed out of court by a US judge after attempting to sue L'Oreal for ruining her social life after she 'accidentally' dyed her blonde hair brown.
The woman claims that the cosmetics giant put a brown shade of dye in a box labeled 'blonde' and has consequently caused her three years of unparalled pain and torture:
Well, if you are so concerned about maintaining your natural 'hue', why die your hair any colour in the first place right?
Well, yes, being a brunette undoubtedly causes migraines and panic attacks. It's hell I tells ya. Hell! I'm glad she stayed home and wore hats though. Goodness knows the last thing the world needs is more women with, gasp, brown hair, gallavanting around in public flaunting their shameful follicles to all and sundry.
So let me get this straight. The judge took three years to dismiss her claim, not because she is a moron with dollar signs in her eyes who is making a mockery of the judicial process, but because she couldn't prove that L'Oreal screwed up the packaging? Does this mean that, had she been able to prove that, that her claim of having her life all but completely destroyed by being forced to live as a brunette actually had some validity?
Here's the thing Miss Charlotte, firstly, blonde dyes and brunette dyes are, like, you know, a different colour. If you can't tell the difference you shouldn't be allowed to cross the street on your own, much less play with any sorts of chemicals. Secondly, take some responsibility for your actions, doesn't every box of hair dye come with a warning to do a strand test? Thirdly, how on earth did you even think you could get away with this ridiculous argument? Being a brunette so completely ruined your life so you have to attempt to take it out on the company who provided you with the service YOU WANTED?
Have we become so opportunistic, so out of touch with reality that we think we can score a few easy millions by blaming our own actions on other people? And are we so willing to scrape the bottom of the barrel by having the audacity to claim that mere hair colour- and temporary at that- has the capacity to damage our mental health?
How did this even make it to court? What on earth was her lawyer thinking? Well, I'm afraid we'll never know since:
How surprising.
The woman claims that the cosmetics giant put a brown shade of dye in a box labeled 'blonde' and has consequently caused her three years of unparalled pain and torture:
Charlotte Feeney says she can never return to her natural blonde hue, a shock that left her so traumatised she needed anti-depressants.
Well, if you are so concerned about maintaining your natural 'hue', why die your hair any colour in the first place right?
She says she suffered headaches and anxiety, missed the attention that blondes receive and had to stay home and wear hats most of the time.
Well, yes, being a brunette undoubtedly causes migraines and panic attacks. It's hell I tells ya. Hell! I'm glad she stayed home and wore hats though. Goodness knows the last thing the world needs is more women with, gasp, brown hair, gallavanting around in public flaunting their shameful follicles to all and sundry.
A Superior Court judge dismissed Feeney's 2005 lawsuit today, saying she never proved her allegation that L'Oreal put brown hair dye in a box labelled as blonde. The company also had disputed the claim.
So let me get this straight. The judge took three years to dismiss her claim, not because she is a moron with dollar signs in her eyes who is making a mockery of the judicial process, but because she couldn't prove that L'Oreal screwed up the packaging? Does this mean that, had she been able to prove that, that her claim of having her life all but completely destroyed by being forced to live as a brunette actually had some validity?
Here's the thing Miss Charlotte, firstly, blonde dyes and brunette dyes are, like, you know, a different colour. If you can't tell the difference you shouldn't be allowed to cross the street on your own, much less play with any sorts of chemicals. Secondly, take some responsibility for your actions, doesn't every box of hair dye come with a warning to do a strand test? Thirdly, how on earth did you even think you could get away with this ridiculous argument? Being a brunette so completely ruined your life so you have to attempt to take it out on the company who provided you with the service YOU WANTED?
Have we become so opportunistic, so out of touch with reality that we think we can score a few easy millions by blaming our own actions on other people? And are we so willing to scrape the bottom of the barrel by having the audacity to claim that mere hair colour- and temporary at that- has the capacity to damage our mental health?
How did this even make it to court? What on earth was her lawyer thinking? Well, I'm afraid we'll never know since:
Feeney's attorney, David Laudano, declined to comment and she could not be reached after the judge's decision.
How surprising.
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Comment by Louie
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thanks for making me laugh in these days of awful markets, nothing funny there
Comment by Morgan Bell
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you can get products to strip dye out if you make a mistake . . .
theres no more peroxide in a dark colour dye than a light colour dye so there wouldnt have been any extra damage . . .
if it was your natural colour you would expect that within 3 years you would have grown a colour out anyway . . .
bloody whingers!
if your whole identity and quality of life is based on your hair colour you have far deeper problems than a mislabeled box!
Comment by Michaelie
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Michaelie
Comment by Cass
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hhhhmmmm.... Had to wear hats to hide the dark shade, eh? And all this while, Angelina Jolie is strutting all over the globe in her dark hair. Shame on her!
Comment by alt_ed
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Brunette fucking sucks balls man!!
Just ask Morgan, she's always happiest when she's all but bleached her scalp to the bone
Comment by Justicia
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I'm so glad she was laughed out of court, that would have been an embarrassing precedent for the court system. The courts are for justice, not bimbos out for some cash who are unable to read the packaging on L'Oreal products.
I'm shocked that she even found a lawyer to take her on, it must have been another blonde. I'm in the legal profession but I wouldn't take a case like that, it's a waste of time and surely they knew they had no chance of winning!
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Comment by Lilla
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I'm falling off the chair with Louie. *lol* I have to agree with the idiot comment too, although I think I would be applying to American Justice system more than the idivudual ..
Exactly!
Ooh the whole American movie industry blonde thing is too fake in my eyes anyway. Have you noticed that every actor or actress that either comes from America or ends up there, gets blonder with each passing movie or sit com? I am naturally brunette and have never wanted to be blonde. Men might prefer them, but they marry brunettes and: whilst quoting cliches, I am not conviced that blondes have more fun either .. and one could add, who cares what men think anyway, right? But the fact is that when your hair colour affects a jury's decision, and/or your ability to secure work, surely the system needs an overhaul?
Fortunately this very truth is being addressed by a small contingent within the younger generation who are fighting back and the lead actors from High School Musical (very popular amongst todays pre~teens), actually went darker brunette for the sequel than the other way around and it looked good!
I hope they start a permanent trend, because I am as sick of bottle~blonde~brunettes who act stupid becuase they think they can, once the colour is stripped form their hair. I am also sick of suffering in absolutely every walk of life becuase of the Sue Culture ... I dont use hair dye but have to wonder what now? Hairdye kits that require you to send in a sample of your hair colour before you can use their products ???
Ooh it is all too bizarre, isnt it time America made like Atlantis?
Lilla ..
Comment by Wynona Lavota
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Comment by Cheryl J
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She should be forced to walk the streets with muddy brown hair wearing a placard that says 'I'm a vacuous idiot' on the front and 'a court found me to be guilty of stupidity' on the back.
This is what happens when cousins keep marrying each other.
Comment by jayfactor
eh?
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Yes. And it generally works.
Comment by Postmodern Critic
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Go Morgan with her last statement!
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