RubySoho
Winston
Yes, We're Bloggers. But Who Are We Really?
May 2nd 2008 01:23
Yesterday, a post went up that attracted a great deal of attention. The subject matter involved a sort of tribute to a former blogger in this community. In general, the feedback regarding this writer was positive, although there were a few dissenters (myself among them).
The subject of the blog himself made an appearance, and among his comments was a brief critical take of my critical take of his writing. Fair enough, to be sure. Other comments on the blog recently (not involving me) were a bit more heated. All of this got me thinking: who are we and what the hell are we talking about?
It's a pretty inconsequential fact that I am no big fan of the Black Knight's writing, and as far as I know I am not in his Top Ten list myself. And that's completely fine. I have $5 in my wallet that says that there are probably a few people here who just are not into my writing style or content, and quite possibly generally don't care for me. While I might wish that everyone thought I was just super great, that's never going to happen. By the same token there are other blogs here that I'm not enamored with, for whatever reason. In those cases I generally just avoid those sites. But here's the kicker: by and large, the fact that I don't care for someone's writing does not necessitate that I dislike that person. In fact, there is absolutely no way for me to really know that.
The Black Knight strikes me a certain way. His online persona is not one that I care for. However, who we are on Orble is not who we are. If the Knight and I ever met in person, who knows? I might have a different opinion of him. He may very well be someone with whom I would enjoy having a beer. On the Internet, we are all both more and less than ourselves.
We are more than ourselves in the sense that the part of us that comes through tends to be fairly genuine. Inhibitions melt away, thanks to the anonymity of cyberspace, and we may find ourselves emboldened to speak in ways that would not be the case in real world interactions. We distill ourselves through a network 'still', and the finished product is concentrated personality.
However, this format that focuses us also works to our detriment. Communication is contextual. Outside of people who already know each other very well, the written word is a poor conductor for the personal interactions I am speaking of. Without the subtlety of gesture, or the nuance of one's voice, we are left to grope in the dark struggling to interpret the intended meanings of our fellows. It is not an easy task, and more than one conflict has been started that could easily have been avoided had we been able to see an arched eyebrow or an amused expression.
Winston is not me, it is the part of me that I choose to put here and that I am capable of expressing. The same goes for the rest of us, pseudonymous cyber-phantoms that we are.
So, then, my question is who are we? The answer is that we're a vibrant town in a non-existent, borderless country. There are neighborhoods, factions and cliques. There are friends whom we've made "LOL", but never actually seen smile. There are bitter enemies who have raged mightily in battle, but who might pass each other by in the real world with a friendly nod and never be the wiser. We are bytes of electronic traffic amicably chatting, sourly sniping, graciously thanking, or meanly belittling. We are strangers.
There are people here whom I genuinely think I like. There are others whom I suspect I do not. Were I ever to meet any of these people, I might be surprised at the reality of my assumptions. The Black Knight may turn out to be my favorite of them all. Until we meet I'll never know, and until such a time as that occurs my opinion of him stands. The key is to be aware that it is just my opinion, and that it is based on the paucity of information that I have. The fighting that goes on, the bickering and the hand-wringing.....we're boxing with shadows. It's almost always a mistake to judge a person by their shadow. All you can judge is the shadow itself.
The subject of the blog himself made an appearance, and among his comments was a brief critical take of my critical take of his writing. Fair enough, to be sure. Other comments on the blog recently (not involving me) were a bit more heated. All of this got me thinking: who are we and what the hell are we talking about?
It's a pretty inconsequential fact that I am no big fan of the Black Knight's writing, and as far as I know I am not in his Top Ten list myself. And that's completely fine. I have $5 in my wallet that says that there are probably a few people here who just are not into my writing style or content, and quite possibly generally don't care for me. While I might wish that everyone thought I was just super great, that's never going to happen. By the same token there are other blogs here that I'm not enamored with, for whatever reason. In those cases I generally just avoid those sites. But here's the kicker: by and large, the fact that I don't care for someone's writing does not necessitate that I dislike that person. In fact, there is absolutely no way for me to really know that.
The Black Knight strikes me a certain way. His online persona is not one that I care for. However, who we are on Orble is not who we are. If the Knight and I ever met in person, who knows? I might have a different opinion of him. He may very well be someone with whom I would enjoy having a beer. On the Internet, we are all both more and less than ourselves.
We are more than ourselves in the sense that the part of us that comes through tends to be fairly genuine. Inhibitions melt away, thanks to the anonymity of cyberspace, and we may find ourselves emboldened to speak in ways that would not be the case in real world interactions. We distill ourselves through a network 'still', and the finished product is concentrated personality.
However, this format that focuses us also works to our detriment. Communication is contextual. Outside of people who already know each other very well, the written word is a poor conductor for the personal interactions I am speaking of. Without the subtlety of gesture, or the nuance of one's voice, we are left to grope in the dark struggling to interpret the intended meanings of our fellows. It is not an easy task, and more than one conflict has been started that could easily have been avoided had we been able to see an arched eyebrow or an amused expression.
Winston is not me, it is the part of me that I choose to put here and that I am capable of expressing. The same goes for the rest of us, pseudonymous cyber-phantoms that we are.
So, then, my question is who are we? The answer is that we're a vibrant town in a non-existent, borderless country. There are neighborhoods, factions and cliques. There are friends whom we've made "LOL", but never actually seen smile. There are bitter enemies who have raged mightily in battle, but who might pass each other by in the real world with a friendly nod and never be the wiser. We are bytes of electronic traffic amicably chatting, sourly sniping, graciously thanking, or meanly belittling. We are strangers.
There are people here whom I genuinely think I like. There are others whom I suspect I do not. Were I ever to meet any of these people, I might be surprised at the reality of my assumptions. The Black Knight may turn out to be my favorite of them all. Until we meet I'll never know, and until such a time as that occurs my opinion of him stands. The key is to be aware that it is just my opinion, and that it is based on the paucity of information that I have. The fighting that goes on, the bickering and the hand-wringing.....we're boxing with shadows. It's almost always a mistake to judge a person by their shadow. All you can judge is the shadow itself.
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Comment by RubySoho
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i really love this line:
There are friends whom we've made "LOL", but never actually seen smile.
Comment by postmoderncritic
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You can tell a lot about a person through how they represent themselves online, and I always ask myself "Would I feel comfortable representing myself in this way?" If the answer is no, then I would see that as reason to avoid them IRL as well. I know that I have sometimes represented myself as more street-wise, less intellectual and more MTV generation so as to make a point I couldn't have made otherwise (I used to do this regularly on imdb.com), so I tend to examine each post/comment in terms of its context, but I my major in uni before I quit was English literature, so I find I can read a lot into others' texts, and am satisfied with the conclusions about them I come up with.
I feel like we've paid enough lip service to 'The Black Knight' so I'm not going to talk about him.
I think putting virtual personality to real life presence if they have been distinct personalities before is an interesting exercise.
Comment by katyzzz
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Comment by Michaelie
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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what you say is so true!
sometimes "when" people choose to comment says so much more than "what" they actually say . . . how people pick their battles is vey telling with regard to their real life personality
everyone has a boosted confidence with their online persona(s) and often people instigate conflict on the net when in real life they would never be so daring
ive probably met maybe 10 people off various social networking programs and sites like myspace, msn, facebook in real life . . . after feeling so close to them on the net you would presume you would become the best of friends in person, but in real life people are usually less shinier, less generous, less complimentary, less considerate . . . ive only had 2 or 3 real success stories of transferring friends from cyber to the real world
some people are great in person, others are better on the phone, some send killer sms, some are hilarious on msn, and some people are just bloggers!
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
Still, I agree that you can certainly make inferences about how you may feel about a person in real life based on their writing, and those inferences may be pretty accurate. But the chance always remains that the full package will be far different from what you saw represented in html.
Regarding the Black Knight, he was used more as a relevant example to lead into my main point than anything else. Anyone here could have served the purpose just as well. As for D's post, I had my say and he's had his. I'm content to leave it that way, so I will say no more.
Thanks for the feedback.
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
I used to occasionally waste time arguing with people I really disliked (and who disliked me) and I finally realized that we weren't even arguing about the topic at hand anymore. It was just a sheer battle of wills, a fight of wispy construct against wispy construct. Why was I getting so pissed off over the fact that someone whom I knew nothing about knew nothing about me? The absurdity of it finally hit home, and I've felt much better about these sorts of things since coming back to blogging. I am very choosy about picking my battles now, to say the least.
Thanks very much for your input, it's appreciated.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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ive met a handful of like-minded people on orble (yourself and ruby included) and ive met a large number of really polite and/or supportive people on orble who i appreciate just as much . . . i actually really like it when people just say "that was an interesting read, thanks for the info" even though it implies they probably didnt agree, its the civility i find charming . . . but of course i wont knock back a compliment!
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Comment by Cheryl J
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What I'm enjoying is the many and varied personalities on Orble and the differing points of view. I think it would be a very boring place if all we ever read was exactly the way we see the world ourselves. By reading others' writing and comments we are opening ourselves up to possibly learning something new or at the very least seeing it from a different viewpoint.
I very much enjoy reading your posts.
Comment by Julie Vaux
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Comment by Kleonaptra
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And Morgan was very perceptive here -
Personally, I think I come off worse than I actually am. I am everything I say I am, but Im actually very boring. On the web I try and create what Id like to be I think....
But I do wonder about my friends, and if we'd 'click' so well in the real world...
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
Thanks very much for your comment!
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
By reading others' writing and comments we are opening ourselves up to possibly learning something new or at the very least seeing it from a different viewpoint.
Perfectly phrased and entirely accurate. Thanks so much for your comment, I enjoy your contributions to my posts immensely
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
Thanks very much for your kind words
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions