I’ve been doing some metathinking lately. Before you proceed to laugh, let me explain. I made this blog to share my thoughts on various topics, and doing that makes me feel better. I like utilizing my freedom of speech. I’ve always been prone to losing myself in my thoughts and I find that talking about whatever is going on in my mind, whatever wants to come out, it’s usually something I’ve been subconsciously battling with, like with this one.
Growing up, my parents didn’t always understand why I wasn’t that talkative. Other kids in my class were chatterboxes, like my best friends Nathan and Marcus. They were so hard to shut up, they just kept going on and on – whatever was on their minds, they had to say it. They loved making up stories and talking about their imaginary friends, and I liked listening to them. Well, I was listening to them for as long as I could before I zoned out and thought about my imaginary friend and our conversations.
I’m still friends with Nathan, and even though he’s not the chatterbox he used to be, he is still quite lively and animated. He’s too quick to act though, and saying stuff he doesn’t mean – from mean things to compliments. But we love him anyway.
It’s just, I was always the contemplative type. My girlfriend is sometimes frustrated with me because thinking has often stopped me from taking action. I was supposed to help her insulate her hot water system last month, and it took me two weeks to actually do it. I wasn’t lazy, I was just thinking of the perfect method of doing it and that took time.
I feel like thinking and being in your own head a lot makes you more compassionate to yourself, and by extension, to other people, but only if you practice self-awareness. Thinking allows you to better know yourself, your likes and dislikes, your attitudes towards different things, which in turn, makes you more confident.
Yes, thinking does deter you from taking action, and I’ve often gotten the ‘compliment’ that I overcomplicate things and should learn to act on instinct more often, but I am who I am. What exhilarates me is the theory of how things are. It doesn’t mean that I’ll just sit passively all day every day, like the thinker. It just means my thought process is more thorough and I enjoy it.